


One stolen night

by springberry



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Book/Movie 2: Insurgent, F/M, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Missing Scene, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-21 14:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9552959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springberry/pseuds/springberry
Summary: The story of Tris and Tobias having sex for the first time in the Insurgent movie. What might have happened between them after the camera faded to black too quickly...There are two chapters with different POVs.





	1. Tris POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hi divergent fans out there, this is my first fanfic and I hope you enjoy reading it. English isn't my native language, but I did the best I could ;-)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth. Beginning and part of the dialogue are from the Insurgent movie by summit.

Tris POV

I turned around and walked away from the crowd. There was no way I could have stayed there any longer, hearing them discuss whether I should go to Erudite to turn myself in to Jeanine and whatever she wanted to do to me. There was nowhere to go to be alone except the small room Tobias and I had been assigned to stay in while we were living with the factionless and the group of loyal Dauntless. I immediately went over to our bed, sat down on the woollen blanket and laid my head in my hands. It was all too much to process. No matter how I turned things over in my head, trying to figure out my options, it all came down to me going to Erudite. Marlene died because of me today. I still couldn't believe this has truly happened.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard Tobias come in and close the door behind him. I couldn't bear to look up, wanted to avoid his gaze, but I felt his eyes on me while he slowly walked over to the bed and sat down opposite me, close enough for me to lay my head on his shoulder. Having him close to me felt comforting. “I know what you're thinking,” he whispered half into my ear, half into my hair, “I'm not gonna let you do it.”

He knew me so well by now that I didn't stand a chance of hiding my intentions, so I sat up straight to finally look him in the eye when I tried to explain myself. He seemed to know what I was about to say because he sighed in frustration. “I can't let anyone else die because of me.” “No one else is gonna die because of you. Tori is gonna find a way to disable the disks.” I really wanted to believe him, but he couldn't know if Tori's plan was going to work or not. Nobody could, actually. “And if she doesn't?” I asked.

Tobias was searching for words, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. He sighed again before saying, “And if she doesn’t, we'll figure it out.” His gaze was intense. “Together,” he added, raising his eyebrows. “You know I'm just one person,” I whispered, slightly shaking my head. “I'm not worth it.” “No, you are worth it. You are worth it to me,” Tobias replied. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I felt no need to wipe them away or hide them from him, since he already seemed to be able to look into my very soul anyway when he declared, “I love you.”

I couldn't help smiling at his confession. His words sounded like a melody in my ears and went directly into my heart. The love I felt for him was strong and kept growing every day we spent together, and right now I was overwhelmed by it. There were no words to express what I felt in this moment, so I leaned forward just a little and stretched my arms out to touch his face with my hands. I tried to put everything he meant to me in my gaze, wanting him to know how special he was to me, and then I kissed him. It was just a short kiss to tell him what I was feeling, but the moment my lips left his I wanted to kiss him again, and so I did, holding him close to me with one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hair.

Suddenly the energy between us shifted as the kiss became more intense and he put one of his hands in my hair. I wanted to be close to him, to hold him as tight as I could and never let him go again. He put a hand on my back, caressing me, and then pulled me onto his lap and into his strong arms. It felt good and soothing and comforting, but there was also something else in this gesture, something intimate that made me want more of this.

I stopped the kiss, looked at him and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and to work up the courage to do what I wanted to do next. With my hands slightly shaking I slowly pulled the zipper of my shirt down, well aware that I wasn’t wearing anything underneath it, just me. Tobias kept his eyes locked to mine the whole time, what I was thankful for, but deep inside I knew he must have loved to watch my hands opening my shirt and, even more, the skin I exposed to him. I wasn't afraid anymore, or at least I didn't want to be, because there were so many bad things in the world around us that it seemed stupid, really, to be afraid of being with the one you love. And perhaps tonight might be our only opportunity left to do this. Nonetheless, I couldn't help feeling nervous about it. To calm my nerves I had to keep going, so I put my hands on my shoulders to remove the shirt, never taking my eyes away from his to tell him without words that I trusted him. He seemed to be a little nervous, too. I could tell from his breathing catching up. His hands were on mine in an instant, sliding the shirt off of my arms.

I didn't want to be the only one shirtless, so I tugged at the hem of his to quickly pull it up and over his head. It felt better like this, much better. The way Tobias glanced up at me, a mixture of wonder and surprise and love and lust, felt as if he caressed me with his eyes, asking for my approval to continue. I gave him an encouraging smile, which he returned before kissing me again, pulling me close to him like before, only this time we were skin on skin. It felt really good.

I felt the warmth radiating off his muscular body and his arms around me, stroking my back and tangling his hands into my hair. We embraced each other, mirroring our movements, and I traced the ink on his back and ribs. I noticed him growing in his pants, right where my legs spread in his lap, and it gave me a surprising feeling I hadn't known before. It caused some kind of strange fear, like what we did woke something up in him, a lust, that I wouldn't be able to control. At the same time it made me wake up in ways yet unknown, too. A small moaning sound escaped my lips involuntarily at the thought that I was responsible for his body's reaction, and it made me want more.

My moan seemed to have encouraged Tobias because he laid me down on the bed softly and then watched me. I literally felt his eyes roaming over me, from my hips up to my waist up to my breasts, and my cheeks surely turned a little pinker than they already were. But I didn't feel exposed. In a way it felt liberating to let him see me because I didn't have the urge to hide myself from him anymore. The eager expression on his face made me feel beautiful and wanted.

He lowered his head to kiss my bellybutton. His breath on my skin between the little kisses he trailed up my stomach and chest up to the three ravens on my collarbone sent shivers down my spine. And then he kissed my neck, which felt even better, and I turned my head to the side to offer him more skin to kiss. He swirled his tongue on the skin behind my ear, causing me to moan again. It sounded strange coming out of my mouth, not like my voice, but, since it made him kiss me with more intensity, I figured it sounded encouraging to him. He continued working across my neck with his tongue, then pecked my earlobe and returned to my mouth again. I kissed him back passionately, running my hands down his spine until they rested on his bottom. I pulled him down, wanting to feel as much of his body as I could, wanting to feel his weight on me, to know this was real and not just a dream.

For a few seconds Tobias just lay there on top of me, kissing me, his hands moving over my sides and arms and head. He was still hard, maybe harder even, but it was difficult for me to tell. It was me doing this to him, causing his body to react like that. The thought made my hips move upwards against his groin, which caused him to grind down into me. We stilled for just a heartbeat, taking in the feeling, and then continued to move against each other, slowly at first, but getting quicker by each minute. The friction it caused ignited a flame inside me and it started to grow. If it already was this good with our pants still on, how much more consuming this had to feel without them? Tobias must have felt the same as he moaned into my mouth. The sound of it was extremely sexy. I took a deep breath to fill my lungs with the air he had just exhaled, letting it out again in my own moan when his left hand brushed against the side of my breast the same moment he flexed his hips into mine. More, I thought, more of this. More of him.

“I want more,” he whispered, opening his eyes to look at me. I felt overwhelmed by his confession. Although he didn't know, he had spoken my own wish out loud. I extended my hands to touch his waist, grazing him under the waistband of his pants, then directed my fingers to the button. He looked so surprised by my sudden action I had to smile widely. I couldn't blame him, though, since I was surprised by my courage, too. But then my nerves showed as I didn't manage to unbutton his pants until my third attempt. Now it was his turn to smile at me. But not for long, because I brushed my fingers along his length when I pulled his zipper down. He propped himself up on one arm to help me pull down his pants and kicked them off, along with his shoes.

Tobias planted a kiss above my heart, causing it to speed up even more. With his head so close to it he must have been able to hear it beating frantically. He moved his free hand up my body and cupped my right breast with it. I had always been insecure about my breasts being too small, but the way Tobias had looked at me in awe earlier and the realization that his hand just fit perfectly around it let me forget my doubts. While he massaged me with his hand he trailed kisses along the way to my other breast. He took my nipple into his mouth and the warmth and wetness made it harden almost instantly. When he let his tongue swirl around it, I gasped and my back arched, pushing my chest up into his mouth. He took his hand away from my right breast to replace it with his lips and sucked my quickly hardening nipple into his mouth. “Tobias,” I sighed.

He pulled his mouth away and tipped my nipple playfully with his nose, as if he was proud to make me moan his name. “You're so beautiful,” he said, placing a kiss on my bellybutton. With his hands on the button of my pants he stilled and I felt his gaze on me. If I let him undress me, we wouldn't be able to stop anymore. Or he would, when I asked him to, but really, I didn't think I might want him to stop. And neither would he, once we had gone so far. I half-opened my eyes to meet his and in this moment I felt a deep desire for him casting my worries away. I hadn't noticed I had been holding my breath, but now I started breathing again and nodded to him, willing him to go on. My eyes were locked to his, since I was still shy about going to be undressed by his hands. I put a hand on his cheek, holding his head, and reached down myself with the other one to open my pants, then pulled them down, disposing my panties along with them, too. It felt like the right thing to do, was what I wanted right now, and I didn't want any fear to resurface again, so I needed to get over the point of removing my clothes.

Now that I was fully naked and he wasn't, I pushed him off of me to lie down beside me. He tried to pull me closer to himself again when he noticed I wasn't wearing anything anymore, but that was not what I had in mind. I needed control to calm my nerves. I let my right hand travel down to his crotch to explore him. He felt hard and warm through the thin fabric, and big. How was he going to fit into me? When I increased the pressure on him, he started sighing, heavier now than before. I realized my power over him as I watched him push his head back into the cushion, eyes shut, clearly relishing my touch, moaning. Then I let my hand slide into his boxers, touching this part of him for the first time skin on skin, and he groaned. His hand joined me there and guided mine to wrap around him. I let him show me how to move up and down his length and when he took his hand away I continued on my own. I hadn't known how much pleasure it could inflict to please someone like that, but I felt my own breath catch up and a tearing rush of want in my stomach.

Tobias eventually stopped me by flipping me over in one swift movement so that I found myself lying on my back. He dragged his boxers off quickly, spread my legs and sat down on his knees between them. I had forgotten that I was naked, forgotten that maybe I was supposed to be shy about it, forgotten how it made me nervous that he was the first to ever see me like this. I didn't want time to think, and fortunately he didn't give me any, since he started kissing my knee before he licked almost all the way up to the apex of my thighs. Then he repeated this on my other leg. I whimpered, anticipating his touch where my body demanded it most. “Touch me,” I whispered to him, needing his fingers on me. But what he did next, I hadn’t seen coming.

Instead of his fingers I felt his lips on me. He placed one chaste kiss directly on my clit, making me quiver. We were probably both surprised by my reaction. At least he looked at me as if he was. He blew softly over the skin he had just kissed and then lowered his head to kiss me again, this time really closing his lips around my most sensitive spot, trying out different ways of moving his mouth over me to fulfill my needs. I tangled my fingers in his hair, directing him, showing him when to go slower or faster. He licked me at first and it felt good. Next he started circling me with his tongue and it felt even better. Then he sucked me and I lost all coherent thought, my body humming in pleasure. I pulled his head closer to me, wanting him to keep his lips on me and never to let go. I hadn't imagined possible that I could relish being kissed that intimately without rationally analyzing the situation, but I obviously could.

One of his hands stroked the inner side of my thigh up to my center and I felt him graze my entrance while he kept his mouth on me. I did nothing to stop him, curious now how it would feel to have a part of him inside me. When he carefully entered me with a finger, it felt strange at first, yet good at the same time. It was a sensation I wasn't used to and it took me a moment to adjust. Tobias explored me, slowly moving in and out of me, until he finally stopped kissing me. But he stayed down there, resting his forehead on my pubic bone so I could feel his breaths on my wet skin while his finger worked in and out of me. It was different to his kisses, intimate, but not satisfying my lust as much.

I pulled on his hair, willing him to come up to me, and he did. I tasted myself on his lips when he kissed me lovingly. We were as close to each other as never before. He stopped the kiss and rested his forehead on mine, his breath coming in rags. “I want to lose myself in you,” he confessed, his voice barely audible. There was no way to explain what his words stirred in me. Lose himself in me… it sounded so devoted.

Then a thought flashed through my mind. “Tobias,” I blurted out, “we don't have protection.” I looked at him with my eyes suddenly wide open. “Um, we actually have…” he admitted, blushing slightly as I followed his gaze wandering to the bedside table. “I took care of that. I thought…hoped one day we would…maybe…need it,” he stammered. “Oh,” was all I managed to say when I realized he had not only daydreamed about sleeping with me, but had considered it might really happen. He must have trusted me to overcome my fears, trusted me to love him enough to cast them aside. I felt a pang of love in my heart and embraced him. “So then we should use it,” I whispered into his ear.

He kissed me and sat up, then pulled a small packet out of the bottom drawer. While he unwrapped a condom and rolled it over him, I asked myself how long it had been lying there, unnoticed by me.

When he lay over me again, I felt my heart hammering frantically against my ribs. He positioned himself between my legs, and I could feel his tip nudging at my entrance. That was it. I tried to take every detail of him in, from the love in his eyes to his flushed cheeks, from the way he balanced himself over me to make me feel only part of his weight to his slightly sweaty hand caressing my face, from his heart racing just as rapidly as mine to his adorably tousled hair.

And ever so slowly I felt him slip inside me an inch, stretching me. It felt unfamiliar. He pulled out and then pushed inside again tentatively, going a little deeper this time. The third time he did this I felt a sharp pain somewhere deep inside me. I took a sharp breath. He stopped immediately, searching my eyes. I indicated him to give me a moment. It didn't take long until the pain dissipated and I moved my hips up to his, wanting him to continue. It took another three thrusts until he was fully inside, touching parts of me I hadn't known before. “Oh Tris,” he moaned when he started moving more forcefully, not in a probing way this time. It took us some time to find a rhythm together, until our hips met with each thrust. It still was a little weird to feel Tobias moving inside me, but I slowly started to enjoy the pressure he filled me with, our bodies intertwined, kissing feverishly, moaning and sighing our names, hands roaming over every part of each other's body that they could reach.

I felt my insides churn and a growing sensation that formed in my stomach, starting from there to consume more and more parts of my body and my brain. I had my eyes closed, but out of curiosity I peeked to see what Tobias looked like when he lost himself in me, like he had expressed it earlier, and it was the most arousing sight. His eyes were squeezed tightly and his face was wearing an ecstatic expression, holding nothing back. I felt a wave of devotion for him, for this boy who loved me so much. Every part of him seemed to burn with desire for me, and because of me, and something clicked in my mind. It was only now that I realized how much he really desired me, that it was not just something he had told me to calm my fears or to put me at ease with the way I felt about my body. I loved how he reacted to me, to my every movement, how he met my hips with his, how he stirred under my touch, how his back became sweaty, how he started trembling. I relished having this power over him and how he gave himself to me by letting go of everything. As if there were only the two of us and nothing else in the world.

I could tell he was getting closer to his release from the way he twitched inside me. Tobias' thrusts became stronger, his trembling turned into shaking and he increased the pace. When his body finally stilled as he came, I watched him secretly, not wanting to miss a part of this, and I could see deep into his soul. Everything he felt was written on his face for me to read, and the trust he offered me by letting me see him this lost and vulnerable increased my own aching for release.

I could feel the tension run out of him after a moment as his muscles relaxed. He lazily opened his eyes and I didn't flinch away from his gaze. He slumped down on me and laid his head next to mine, and the pressure of his full weight stirred my insides as he didn't or couldn't care about supporting part of it with his arms. Then I heard him whisper against my ear, “I'm sorry, Tris. I got carried away, I didn’t want…it to be over so fast.” How could he apologize for this? He shouldn't, and shouldn't even feel the need to. I made him look at me by cupping his face with my hands, a gesture I myself always found comforting. “Don't apologize. Please don't. It's okay.” “Okay?” he asked, sounding lost. “Well, more than okay. It is kind of…,” I was seeking for words, “hot to know how much you… want me. It makes me feel…well, wanted,” I admitted, smiling at him. I felt proud for having said that out loud. Tobias smiled back at me.

I pulled his face down to kiss him again. It was a sensual kiss, our tongues playing together in slow motion, now that the racing heat between us had calmed down a little. We had kissed like this before, only this time, after being as close to each other as possible, after feeling him inside me, it felt like more, as if there was another, deeper meaning to it now.

When he drew back out of me, I instantly missed him there. I sensed my own longing for release again. It was still there, although it had slowed down since he had come. But now it was building again in my stomach, an aching desire for him that I put into our kiss. His hands were on me again, working their way over my chest, caressing each of my breasts, then going down on me. He slipped one between my legs and started massaging me carefully. I sighed at the contact of his fingers to my soft skin there. It felt so good, but I needed a little more pressure on me, so I cast my shyness aside and directed his fingers to my clit with my hand, showing him how I wanted him to stroke me. Jolts of energy shot through me right from the spot he was rubbing.

My thoughts wandered back to the way it had felt when he had kissed me there. I wanted that feeling again. “Tobias,” I moaned, pulling my lips away from his, “can you kiss me again?” “I am kissing you,” he teased. “You know what I mean,” I said and pulled his head down just an inch with my hands tangled in his hair.

I felt him smile as he trailed kisses down my stomach until he reached the spot I wanted his lips to stay at. They replaced his hand and it was the sweetest feeling in the world. I felt light as a feather. Nothing existed but the warmth of his mouth and the way he moaned at me. Every part of me came to life, humming with the energy he seemed to be passing on to me. He pushed a finger inside my core and this time he managed to match the rhythm of it sliding in and out of me with the kissing and sucking and licking of his mouth and tongue. I kept my hands in his hair all the time to direct his speed and the pressure he put on me.

He never stopped what he was doing and his determination to please me made me want to give up what little power I had left over my body. I gave it to him willingly, trusting him to control me. It felt liberating to let him lead, and for the first time in my life I let myself fall apart in someone else's hands. He was expanding the boundaries of what I was capable of feeling. My lust spiraled through me, consumed me, took control over me. It made my body quiver and my hands grab him harder, it produced moans and little screams, made my hips buckle up into his kiss and my toes curl. It was like climbing up a steep wall, higher and higher, until finally Tobias pushed me over the edge and I let go of the world, falling for a moment into nothingness as my orgasm rushed through me and charged me with electricity, leaving no space for anything else to feel or think.

After it ebbed away, I felt my brain reconnect with my body. My heart was still racing and my insides trembled with the aftermath of the experience. Tobias crawled up next to me, unable to hide his smirk. The proud was written all over his face and the amazement in his gaze caused me to smile back at him. I let him pull me close to him as he lay down on his back, one arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and put my leg over his to be as close to him as possible, without any space left between our bodies. The steady beating of his heart was soothing as I listened to it finding back to its normal rhythm. I sighed when he kissed my head. He took my hand in his and started to draw invisible patterns on it with his thumb.

I felt totally safe lying there close to him, spent and sated. It was astonishing how comfortable we were with each other. I had expected the situation to be more awkward after sex, maybe like having shared too many secrets you originally never wanted to show anyone, but it wasn't. I felt perfectly at ease and didn't even mind that we were still naked, that he could see me like this. Well, he had seen every part of me now anyway. And even tasted it. The thought made me blush again.

It was him who pulled the quilt over us after a minute or so to keep us warm. I inhaled the scent of his skin that was uniquely him. “Love you,” I mumbled against his chest. “Love you more,” he whispered back, his voice sounding tired, exhausted. And with the sound of his words still in my ears I felt myself drift off into sleep.

 

***

 

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night, sweating. My heart was thumping against my ribs as I struggled to find a straight thought. I just had the cruelest of all nightmares I have ever had.

 

_A group of Dauntless soldiers, controlled by the Erudite simulation, were circling Tobias and me in what looked like an old empty factory building. Their eyes were blank, seeing and yet not seeing what was happening in front of them. The danger of the situation became evident as they moved in on us, leaving no room between each other so we had no chance to escape. All of a sudden, their feet stopped moving and they froze in their tracks, only to draw their guns and point them at us seconds later. Tobias and I were highly outnumbered by them and completely unprotected. Neither of us had any kind of weapon, nothing to protect us. “What do you want?” Tobias yelled at the marionettes around us and his voice echoed from the empty walls and ceiling. I looked at the familiar faces surrounding us, all wearing the same absent-minded expression, and spotted Christina among them. Of course it had to be her to speak up first. The Erudite knew how to haunt me. “Tris Prior,” she said in a monotonous voice that didn't really sound like hers at all, “we warned you. You're supposed to hand yourself over to Erudite. Jeanine is waiting for you.”_

_Panic rose in my chest and I couldn't breathe. I had to protect the others, all of them, and especially Tobias. He was the only one awake with me here. I glanced over at him, his body tense, all of his muscles strained to defend us with his bare hands. But I could see the same fear in his eyes that must have shown in mine, too. “I will come to meet Jeanine,” I blurted out. All I wanted was to save Tobias, my love, my life, my everything. “We will make sure of that,” the simulation-controlled crowd answered me, all of them speaking in robotic unison. What was that supposed to mean?_

_And then their shots tore the night's silence apart, ripping through the cold air, bullets flying past me. I cringed down and covered my head with my hands. There was no need to. The bullets weren't aimed at me, but at the person next to me. I heard Tobias hit the concrete floor before I had had time enough to turn my head towards him. Blood covered his chest and drenched his clothes. His eyes were wide open and he looked at me, still breathing shallowly._

Before I could have seen the life leave his body, I had woken up. But the image of him lying crouched beside me was still burning behind my closed eyelids. The panic had followed me out of the dream into reality as I hugged my body with my arms, seeking some kind of comfort, but there was none. I looked at Tobias, sleeping peacefully next to me. He had turned onto his stomach so that the huge tattoo on his back was visible. All the faction symbols next to each other. I wished so much for the factions to stand side by side in real life, but I knew our reality was different. War had become our reality. And I wanted to fight for the people I loved, needed to protect them from either becoming murderous marionettes or being killed by those. But fighting wasn't an option, because there would be even more casualties than there already were.

It was on me. I could end this. I had to go to Erudite headquarters to turn myself over to Jeanine. Whatever she was going to do to me, she would do it to me and not to those around me, especially not Tobias. If I stayed and Tobias or anyone else got killed because of me, I would never be able to forgive myself. I trailed my hand over Tobias' back, trying to memorize the warmth of his skin. I would have to go now because my heart couldn't bear to stay close to him any longer when leaving him was inevitable.

I got up and dressed silently in the darkness. This had to be what it was like to act under a simulation, I thought, moving rather mechanically, without thinking. When I stood on the doorstep, I allowed my eyes to glance back at Tobias one last time. It broke my heart and I knew it would break his, too, when he woke up in the morning to an empty bed. But at least he would live. He would be safe.


	2. Tobias POV

Tobias POV

I stood outside our bedroom door, waiting. What for, exactly, I didn't know. Mostly to work up the courage to face Tris to talk to her about what had happened earlier today. There hadn't been a possibility for us to be alone to discuss things. The worst part was what I imagined her to be planning to do: I knew her Abnegation part wanted to turn herself in to Erudite. Although she hadn't told me, I had been able to read it from the look in her eyes and the determination of her strides when she had walked away from the meeting. Part of me understood her way of thinking, of course, but another part of me, the bigger one, was silently screaming inside me in fear of losing her. I had to come up with a way to persuade her to stay. To stay here with me. For me.  
  
Finally, I realized whatever I was waiting for wouldn't happen, so I decided to just go in and join her. I determinedly opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind me. Seeing her sitting slumped on the bed, holding her head in her small hands, made my heart ache and I quickly strode over to her. I sat down in front of her, and she almost immediately laid her head on my shoulder. “I know what you're thinking,” I began silently, almost whispering to her, “I'm not gonna let you do it.”  
  
When she sat up, she looked me in the eye for the first time since I had come in. In them I saw the demons she was fighting with in her head, the dark thoughts she was turning around. Of course she would try to argue with me. I couldn't suppress a sigh. “I can't let anyone else die because of me,” she summed it up, her voice broken. I had been right about what was going on in her mind. “No one else is gonna die because of you. Tori is gonna find a way to disable the disks,” I said. But I knew I was expressing my own hopes here. Tori was indeed working on the disk issue, but it wasn't yet sure if she would succeed in removing them. I felt my own worries reflected in Tris' answer, “And if she doesn't?”

I didn't really have words to wipe away her doubts, I couldn't just promise her everything would be fine when there were so many things going on that I had no influence on. So I just looked at her, sighed and said, “And if she doesn't, we'll figure it out.” – “Together,” I added, to stress my point. “You know I'm just one person,” she whispered, slightly shaking her head, tears welling up, “I'm not worth it.” Her simple statement filled me with pain as it showed me the darkness burdening her soul since her parents' deaths, the guilt she was feeling for Will and Marlene dying, although it hadn't been her fault. But all her insecurities and her disapproval for herself having survived all this showed in what she has just said. I wanted so much to take that burden away from her, to make her feel alive and valuable, to ease her pain. “No, you are worth it. You are worth it to me.” I locked my eyes to hers as I added, “I love you”, wanting the words to find their way not only to her ears, but into her heart, to warm her from the inside.  
  
It seemed to be all I could do right now to comfort her, and I meant what I said. She peered back at me, maybe unsure of how to respond, but then she leaned over to me and kissed me, cupping my face with her soft hands. She paused for a second before she kissed me again, this time with more force, her hands sneaking into my hair and onto my back.  
  
I loved kissing her like that, especially when she made the first move, and I couldn't help to pull her closer to me until she ended up sitting on my lap. Her closeness made me feel dizzy and longing for more.

Tris pulled away from me and suddenly she seemed tense. I hoped I hadn't gone too fast, but I often found it difficult to stop myself once we had started making out, but usually I held myself back, respecting her fear of intimacy. To my surprise I saw her hands grab the zipper of her shirt and then she pulled it down slowly. It took me a lot to keep my eyes on hers instead of watching her undress in front of me, but I knew she was feeling insecure about her body and I didn't want her to stop what she was doing. Hopefully I would have time to take a closer look later. I felt my breath quicken at that thought and even more at the way she looked at me when her shirt was finally open. I tried to read what she wanted to tell me, hoping she didn't feel any fear right now. But all I could see in her gaze was love and trust when she raised her hands to her shoulders to slide the shirt down her arms. I quickly moved my hands to join hers to help her undress, although she wouldn't have needed 'help', actually.

The very moment her shirt was gone, she grabbed mine and pulled it over my head. Wow, that was fast! My breathing was giving my nerves away, but I didn't mind. I wanted so much to be with her, to be as close to her as possible, to show her everything I felt for her, not only the deep love but also the lust. I searched in her eyes for doubts or fears, but found no sign that she was uncomfortable. There was a smile on my lips when I kissed her again, locking my lips to hers, pulling her body close to mine, so close there was no space left between us. I felt her breasts get in contact with my chest, and wrapped my arms around her small frame, wanting to hold her closer to me.

When I felt her hands following the lines of my tattoos, her small hands pulling me in such a tight embrace, I also felt the blood flush down in my body. I had always avoided Tris noticing when I was getting hard to not frighten her, but I didn't want to hide this reaction anymore. After all, it was her doing this to me, so she should know how much she affected me. I just hoped it wouldn't wake up any of her fears again. If it did, she didn't show it. When I heard her moan into our kiss for the first time, it pushed my worries of her being afraid away. Obviously she wasn't.  
  
It finally felt safe to shut off what was left of my ability to think straight and let my body take over. I lowered her body on my hands in her back, laying her down on the bed slowly while I remained seated. I looked at her for the first time since we had taken our shirts off, taking in the sight of her small, perfect breasts and the delicate curves between her waist and hips. Her cheeks blushed as she watched me watching her, and it was adorable.  
  
I bent down to place a small kiss on her bellybutton, then kissed along her stomach and chest up to the ravens flying over her light skin. When I placed a deeper kiss on her neck, Tris' head turned, offering me more of her skin to kiss. I let my tongue swirl on the spot behind her ear and it caused her to moan again, louder this time. I loved her reacting like this, so I continued to kiss her neck and pecked her earlobe before I locked my lips to hers again. While we were kissing passionately, her hands trailed down my back, coming to rest on my bottom, pulling me close to her. I gave in willingly, laying my body down on her, letting her feel more of my weight, since she seemed to want that as much as I did.

I let my hands touch her, at least the parts of her they could reach while I was on top of her, waiting for her to make the next move, not wanting to break the spell by acting too fast. Besides, her showing me what she wanted was definitely something I liked. And soon enough, her hips buckled upwards into mine, making me mirror the movement with my groin. We stilled for a second before moving against each other again and again. We found a pace, but it felt too slow, so we gradually got faster. I was so turned on by her and the way her body moved against mine so easily that I moaned into our kiss. She inhaled deeply, sharing with me the air we were breathing. My hand grazed along the side of her breast and I pushed my hips down on hers, making her moan, too.

“I want more,” I whispered to her, opening my eyes to look at her. She looked hot, with her face all flushed and her eyes full of longing. Suddenly I felt her fingers brush the skin right under the waistband of my pants, slowly moving towards the button in the front. I must have looked as surprised as I felt because a smile spread across her face. I returned it when her fingers fumbled nervously to unbutton my pants, needing three tries to finally open in. She pulled the zipper down, brushing her fingers along me, making my smile turn into a moan. She then pulled at my pants, trying to drag them down, and I helped her by pushing myself up on one arm and kicking them off.

I bent down, not to kiss her mouth this time, but the inked skin right above her heart, and inhaled her warmth. My left hand moved up her body to come to rest on her breast, cupping it, and it fit perfectly into it. I massaged it softly while my mouth trailed little kisses towards her left breast. I gently took her nipple into my mouth and felt it getting hard by my kiss. Tentatively, I let my tongue circle it and that seemed to be the right thing to do, because she gasped and raised her chest towards me while her back arched. My lips turned to her other breast and replaced the hand that had been caressing it by taking her into my mouth. This time I gently sucked her nipple and it hardened in an instant, encouraging my lips to pull a little harder. “Tobias,” she sighed softly, and she made my name sound like a melody.  
  
I released her nipple and nudged it gently with my nose. “You're so beautiful,” I murmured, moving down to her bellybutton to place a kiss there. My hands went to the button of her pants and I looked at her, seeking permission to undress her further. Tris glanced at me through only half-open eyes, and for a moment some insecurity seemed to haunt her, but the next second she exhaled and slightly nodded. Her left hand cupped my cheek while with the other she opened her pants herself. Like earlier, when she had pulled the zipper of her shirt down, she kept her eyes on mine. I didn't dare look away from her face when she carefully pushed me off to lie beside her. Then she pulled her pants down with her own hands. I could feel myself twitch in my boxers with anticipation. Wow. This girl was all mine. And right now, I was all hers too.

She pushed me on my back while she lay down next to me on my right. When I stroked her side, I found she was naked and had removed her panties along with the pants. I wanted to turn on my side to embrace her, but she put her right hand on my chest and pushed me back down into the mattress. I was wondering what she was about to do when she let her hand go down to my groin, stroking me through my boxers. Her touch was tentative at first, testing, but then she put a little more pressure into it and I sighed heavily to show her how much pleasure she was giving me. I closed my eyes and did nothing to control my breathing or my moans, just enjoyed her hand exploring me until she slipped it under the fabric.

I let out a whimper at her first touch on my length. Wanting her hand all over me, I guided it with my own around me, keeping my fingers on hers, showing her the speed and pressure I liked when I was pleasuring myself. Only this felt so much better, so close. When my hand left hers to continue alone, she did. I laid back and relaxed until I got lost in her touch, hearing her shallow breathing that sounded so similar to mine, revealing to me that she enjoyed pleasuring me like this. I couldn't let her stroke me for long since I felt myself getting closer to my release, which I wanted to find together with her and inside her, if she let me.  
  
I flipped Tris over onto her back, quickly got rid of my boxers and positioned myself on my knees between her legs, spreading them apart. I was planning on returning some pleasure to her, so before she could say or do anything to stop me, I kissed her knee and worked my way upwards to where her legs joint, kissing and licking her inner thigh on the way. After that I did the same with her other leg. She whimpered when I did this, and it was the sweetest sound she could make. Her eyes were closed, so I stole a glance at her as she lay bare only inches away from me. It made me twitch. I was awed by the trust she offered me. “Touch me,” I heard her whisper, and I did by kissing her clit softly with my mouth.

Tris winced out of pleasure and her body shivered. It was a strong reaction to such a small kiss. Must have had to do with the spot I had placed it. I wanted her to shiver more, wanted her body to quiver under me, wanted to make those sexy sounds she couldn't suppress come out of her mouth. I gently blew her skin and lowered my mouth again on her, but this time I let it stay there, closing my lips around her. Her hands grabbed my hair, and for an instant I thought she wanted to pull me back up. But on the contrary, she pushed me down a little more, guiding me. I started to lick her up and down, then swirled my tongue around her clit. Her breaths were getting heavier, her body shaking. When I sucked her, her fingers curled around my hair so tightly it almost hurt. She wasn't aware of the force she put in them, and it only encouraged me to go on. I loved to make her lose control like this.  
  
I guided my right hand up her inner thigh to her most intimate spot and carefully entered her with my forefinger, eager to touch her insides. She felt hot and soft and she was so wet I glided into her easily. I pulled my finger out almost completely before pushing back into her again, several times, but I found it difficult to find a rhythm while I still had my mouth on her, so I took my lips away, but rested my forehead on her in a way she could still feel my breaths. And I could still inhale her heavenly scent and let it cloud my senses. Now it was easier to try out different ways of stroking her. Her quivering body made me feel powerful and weak at the same time. Powerful because I was able to bring her as high as this, weak because I would have followed her every command on what to do with her next.

When she finally pulled me up, I put all my devotion into my kiss, wanting her to feel what I felt. And now the big moment seemed to be there. I could tell because the mood had changed from racing lust to something a little more serious. Not in a bad way, but the air between us was humming with significance as I lay my forehead on hers. I tried to form words to express myself, but all I came up with was a whispered, “I want to lose myself in you.”  
  
At first, she smiled at my confession, but suddenly her expression changed to… shock? It was difficult for me to read. Had I wished for too much? Maybe she didn't want to have sex because she was still too afraid? “Tobias, we don't have protection.” Relief. I felt relief at her words. This fear I could handle. I had taken care of that already in a moment of love and hope. But I couldn't help to feel embarrassed to have organized some condoms despite the fact that Tris was afraid of intimacy. “Um, we actually have…” I admitted. “I took care of that. I thought…hoped one day we would…maybe…need it.” Oh dear, I couldn't even form a simple sentence. Instead of saying anything else, I glanced over to the nightstand. Would it make her angry? Or make her feel disrespected? Well, I hoped not. It would be unfair, since I obviously was right about having them. But that must have been what she was thinking, too. “So, then we should use it,” she stated simply.

I was flashed by her consent to sleep with me. So it would really happen. Now. In a few moments. I swallowed the nervousness crawling up on me, kissed her and then sat up on the edge of the bed to open the drawer and take out a condom. I unwrapped it and rolled it over me with slightly trembling hands.

I lay back down on her between her legs, positioning me at her entrance. My heart was beating as fiercely as if it wanted to leave my chest as I watched her observing me. I wanted to bury myself in her, to feel her warmth and wetness around me.

I started to push inside her just a little, then pulled back and went back in again, deeper this time. Pure bliss. I thrust another time, but it caused her pain. Her eyes were shut tightly and she was holding her breath. I stopped moving, worried, to give her a moment to adjust. Then she pushed herself up against me, taking me in deeper, and I started moving again. Seconds later I was fully inside her, relishing the feeling of her all around me. It was heaven on earth. “Oh Tris,” I sighed and started thrusting into her, getting faster, finding a rhythm with her until we moved in unison. Everything got blurred, our kisses became unrestrained, our breathing shallow and ragged. Our hands acted on their own, grabbing and pulling and stroking and pushing and pinching and embracing.  
  
It was the best feeling in the world. All too soon I felt myself getting closer to my release, the lust consuming me, like a fire spreading inside me. I wouldn't last much longer unless we took a break, but every fiber of my body literally screamed at me to continue towards release and I couldn't stop myself. Nothing had ever felt like this. And then it was all too much, her hands, her warmth, her smell, her breath, her body tightening deep inside around me; I felt my orgasm run through me like crashing waves of pleasure fighting with the burning fire of need and desire that had kept growing since our first kiss tonight. Finally, they extinguished the flame when my body got rigid and the world stopped spinning for a second as I held my breath and let out a silent scream.  
It took me a few seconds to come back down from my high. When I opened my eyes I found Tris observing me in amazement, a hint of wonder on her face.

I slumped down on her and lay my head next to hers. My breathing was still unsteady as I whispered into her ear, “I'm sorry, Tris.” I had allowed myself to get carried away too soon by my needs and I felt embarrassed about it. Giving up control wasn’t something I was used to. I had always imagined our first time to end with both of us coming, not necessarily in the same moment, but certainly I had never wanted to leave her unsatisfied. “I got carried away, I didn’t want…it to be over so fast,” my voice was barely audible. She put her hands on my face, one on each cheek, and made me look at her. Her gaze was intense, “Don't apologize. Please don't. It's okay.” “Okay?” I asked, not sure what she meant. “Well, more than okay,” she added. “It is kind of…hot to know how much you… want me. It makes me feel…well, wanted.” She shrugged apologetically and smiled. I felt a grin spread on my face. It made sense for her to see it that way. I had already satisfied one of her needs without realizing it, had diminished her insecurities about her body and her possible doubts about how attracted I was to it, to her.

Tris pulled my mouth to hers into a slow intense kiss. There was a special shade of intimacy in the slowness our tongues caressed each other's that went deeper than the hungry kisses we had shared earlier. Given what we had just done, it meant so much more than a usual kiss.  
  
After a while I pulled out of her, and it felt like losing something that was impossible to put in words. Tris must have felt something similar because she let out a small groan of protest. She was still wanting, I hadn't forgotten. I was determined to make good for my early release and give her what she deserved. She locked her lips to mine again and pulled me close to her with more force than one would think she had. I put my hands on her body, eager to touch her again, loving how her breasts fit perfectly into my palms as I massaged them one after the other.

I spread her legs apart enough to allow my right hand to stroke the soft skin at the apex of her thighs as she whimpered. She was still wet there, which brought back the memory of being inside her. I was surprised when she put a hand on mine to direct me up to her clit. She pushed my fingers down to rub it and it was beyond sexy. Was this the same girl that had always been afraid of this? I could hardly believe my ears when she sighed my name, followed by her shy question, “Can you kiss me again?” I couldn't resist teasing her a little, “I am kissing you.” “You know what I mean,” she said, and without hesitation, she pulled my head down a little to emphasize her demand.  
  
I felt the blood begin to gather again in my crotch as I lowered my head to kiss her again the way she wanted me to. I inhaled her scent deeply as I started petting her with my lips and tongue. This was something I was sure to never get enough of. The trust she put in me was heady as she lay there, shivering under my caress. Her hands on my head pushed my mouth closer to her and directed me to go faster and I obeyed her willingly. There was something intriguing in this gesture, a dominant twist, that stirred me deep inside. I pushed a finger into her, her body giving way for it to enter. It was easier to establish a harmonious rhythm between my finger sliding in and out of her folds and my tongue flicking over her most sensitive spot now that I had found my first release and could focus a little more on what I was doing.

I never stopped to give her a break anymore, aware that I was pushing her higher and higher. It was fascinating how sensitive every part of her body was now as she instantly reacted to my every touch and her instincts took control of her body more and more. Her hips moved against my mouth and my finger, meeting its thrusts. I could feel her getting closer by the way her insides clenched around my finger and her moans got louder. I lay my free hand on her upper stomach and pushed her softly into the mattress to keep her still for a moment, trying to intensify the energy radiating in her body. Only a few heartbeats later I felt her orgasm claim her. She convulsed under my touch and arched up against my palm. It excited me how her hands grabbed my hair roughly, how she almost screamed out of pleasure, how her whole body stiffened, from head to toes and even on the inside.

And then every muscle she had relaxed in satisfaction. I pulled my finger out and lay down next to her. A grin flashed across my face; I had just given her an orgasm with my mouth and fingers and it almost felt like I had had one again myself, her pleasure satisfying my own desires, too. She smiled up at me and I pulled her as close to my side as I could as I turned to lie on my back, spent. I loved the way she snuggled up against me, her head on my chest and one of her legs draped over mine. I was still too overwhelmed by everything to find words to express what I was feeling; The love, the trust, the power, the intimacy, the magic of what we had just shared. So I gently kissed her head and breathed in the scent of her hair. It was a simple, innocent gesture, but I was sure she could read all my emotions out of it. She sighed contently and her warm breath blew across my skin. I reached for her hand, took it in mine and began to stroke it gently with my thumb. 

We both were relaxed and tired, so I spread our quilt over our tangled bodies since we were still naked and I didn't want us to get cold. “Love you,” Tris muttered quietly, as if she was already half asleep. “Love you more,” I murmured back to her, smiling.  
  
I was too tired to spend another coherent thought on anything. Tonight we had built us a bubble of togetherness, shutting everyone and everything out for a stolen night of lovemaking. For tonight, it had worked fine, and there was no way I would let any of my fears consume me before I fell asleep. Our problems would have to wait until the next day, which was to come soon enough. Tomorrow we would discuss our options and plan our next moves, Tris and me, together.  
  
Together.  
It was my last thought before I fell asleep.


End file.
